Conan the Barbarian **** (1982, Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Earl Jones, Max von Sydow, Sandahl Bergman) – Classic Movie Review 343

John Milius’s savage comic-book sword and sorcery 1982 film Conan the Barbarian, based on the tales of Robert E Howard, is written and made in the grandest style. Milius describes it as a ‘feverish dream on acid.’ 

Maverick writer-director John Milius’s incredibly savage comic-book sword and sorcery 1982 epic Conan the Barbarian is written in the grandest style by director Milius and Oliver Stone, who base their screenplay faithfully, at least in spirit, on the tales of Robert E Howard. Milius describes the movie as a ‘feverish dream on acid.’ He continues: ‘Everything has style, everything’s a bit larger than life and done with mischief. That’s the way Conan is.’

It’s set back in the bad old days of the Dark Ages. A Friedrich Nietzsche quote opens the movie, ‘That which does not kill us makes us stronger.’ It starts when Conan the Barbarian is a boy and an evil sorcerer tribal leader and his warrior mob attack his village, kill his parents, wipe out his kinsfolk and commit him to appalling slavery. Trained in the arts of war, Conan grows up, as you’d imagine, not to be the kind of guy to take all this lying down. In fact, he plans awful, bloody vengeance.

He finally escapes and joins with thieves in a quest to solve the riddle of steel so he can made a sword and find and destroy the sorcerer.

Conan the Barbarian kick-started the movie career of Arnold Schwarzenegger, then aged 35, transforming the strongly Austrian-accented muscleman into a new action hero actor. As Conan, Schwarzenegger is perfect. He has no trouble whatever doing what he has to do, and in style. All it is, is to look hunky, show off his muscleman body, fight convincingly and run madly around, which he does remarkably athletically considering all the muscles.

Of course Conan is a no acting required sort of role but Arnie has tremendous presence and physicality. A new star is born here. But, to back him up, there are also classy co-stars in James Earl Jones (as Thulsa Doom) and Max Von Sydow (as King Osric) to provide the real acting. The dancer Sandahl Bergman plays Valeria, while champion surfer Gerry Lopez (from Milius’s Big Wednesday) is Subotai. The surfer’s lines were redubbed by the stage actor Sab Shimono for the final cut.

The Japanese-American actor Mako Iwamatsu plays the Wizard of the Mounds and voices the film’s opening speech. William Smith, passed over for the lead role, plays the Barbarian’s father. Doom’s two lieutenants, Thorgrim and Rexor, are played by Danish bodybuilder and karate master Sven-Ole Thorsen and former American-football player Ben Davidson. Cassandra Gava plays the witch.

Milius hired more than 1,500 extras in Spain, as well as European actors Valérie Quennessen as Osric’s daughter, Jorge Sanz as the nine-year-old version of Conan, and Nadiuska as his mother.

Milius covers the project with abundant raw energy, wit and thought. It’s imaginative, exciting and has a crazy sweep and epic grandness, thanks to a combination of Milius’s energy and imagination, the impressive, costly Dino De Laurentiis production, Duke Callaghan’s eye-catching cinematography, Basil Poledouris’s sweeping score and Ron Cobb’s detailed production designs, which add a touch of Dark Ages realism to the fantasy.

It’s a wild and wacky ride – there’s nudity, violence, graphic sex scenes and strong language. It caused censorship headaches in various countries. The cut UK version has a 15 certificate. The full print is 129 minutes and cut versions run to 123 minutes or 115 minutes.

The movie was a surprise smash hit, sparking a wave of fantasy films in the early 80s. Conan the Destroyer followed in 1984 but it was directed by Richard Fleischer, which is a shame because Milius had planned a trilogy. It was disappointingly remade in 2011 with Jason Momoa as Conan.

Schwarzenegger was set to reprise the role of Conan in 1997 in Conan the Conqueror, but had to decline. In 2013 Arnie announced he was planning a very belated return to the character.

Despite Conan’s reputation, Milius says: ‘It’s not that violent, although I was happy not to get an X rating. But if you said Conan the Barbarian was rated PG, people would feel cheated. We weren’t making Conan’s Divorce, you know.’

The young Arnold Schwarzenegger is essential to its success. ‘If there hadn’t been an Arnold around for Conan, we would have had to create him,’ Milius said.

Milius identifies with Conan: ‘I’ve led a whole life behind enemy lines. I’ve been the victim of so much persecution. I’m the barbarian of Hollywood.’

Before Arnie landed the lead role, the producers considered casting Charles Bronson, Sylvester Stallone, comedian and ex-rugby player Jethro, and William Smith.

John Milius intended to direct King Conan: Crown of Iron in 2005, but it was never made.

Schwarzenegger was set to reprise the role of Conan in 1997 in Conan the Conqueror, but had to decline because of his commitment to Batman and Robin (1997), and the script was rewritten as Kull the Conqueror (1997) starring Kevin Sorbo as Kull in a film adaptation of Robert E Howard’s Conan novel The Hour of the Dragon.

Writer and producer Chris Morgan revealed on 27 May 2015 that the follow-up The Legend of Conan will bring back at least three characters from the original film, with Schwarzenegger confirmed for the new movie, set 30 years after the original. In 2022, it is still in production, probably cancelled.

RIP king of B-movie villainy William Smith, who died on 5 July 2021, aged 88. He is remembered as Strelnikov in Red Dawn (1984) and for Conan the Barbarian and Any Which Way You Can.

John Milius (born April 11, 1944) is a writer on Dirty Harry and Magnum Force, is Oscar nominated as screenwriter of Apocalypse Now (1979), and wrote and directed The Wind and the Lion (1975), Conan the Barbarian (1982), and Red Dawn (1984).

© Derek Winnert 2013 Classic Movie Review 343

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