Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen * (2004, Lindsay Lohan, Adam Garcia, Carol Kane, Glenne Headly, Megan Fox, Alison Pill) – Classic Movie Review 5579

Welsh director Sara Sugarman’s first big-studio movie is aimed at 14-year-old girls, as Lindsay Lohan plays crazy teen Mary Elizabeth Steppe, aka Lola, who relocates from the sophisticated Big Apple to suburban New Jersey.

There she has trouble fitting in at her new school, till her admiration for a boozed-out Brit rock star called Stu (Adam Garcia) leads her to him, being popular, playing the lead in the school’s updated version of Eliza Doolittle, scoring a comeuppance on the class rich bitch Carla (Megan Fox) and a final clinch with the cute boy in the class.

Preachy, unfunny, over-schemetised and taking itself way too seriously, this 2004 Disney comedy falls flat on its plain little face, wanting to be fun but having no real idea of how to do it. Typically, the adult roles are underwritten to embarrassment point, leaving good actors stranded, especially Garcia, Carol Kane as teacher Miss Baggoli, and Glenne Headly as mom Karen.

Lohan shows she is a pro, all right, but she cannot disguise looking as hard as nails. Megan Fox is fine and Alison Pill is good as Lohan’s new school friend.

Unfortunately, there are remarkably few funny one-liners in Gail Parent’s screenplay, based on the book by Dyan Sheldon, which lacks wit or sparkle.

Also in the Eli Marienthal, Sheila McCarthy, Tom McCamus, Richard Fitzpatrick, Sheila Sealy-Smith, Ashley Leggat, Barbara Mamabolo, Maggie Oskam and Rachel Oskam.

RIP Glenne Headly (1955–2017).

© Derek Winnert 2017 Classic Movie Review 5579

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