Grudge Match ** (2013, Robert De Niro, Sylvester Stallone, Kim Basinger, Alan Arkin, Jon Bernthal, Kevin Hart) – Movie Review

Robert De Niro is 71 and Sylvester Stallone a mere stripling at 67. In any other business, they’d have been retired, but in the showbusiness they’re about the busiest folks around. Somehow, they’ve managed to keep themselves current as well as being revered icons of the movies.

Finding decent vehicles for them is more difficult, of course. They may be the fittest pensioners ever, but they’re old to be playing action. Both of them, however, have learned a lot of comedy skills along the years, despite not being essentially funny blokes, certainly not comedians.  But they can spit out any good gags or one-liners sent their way like they’re, say Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. If the script backs them up.

Here we go again with the script problem. Grudge Match starts with a passably good idea, casting the star of raging Bull with the star of Rocky as a pair of aged, retired old boxing rivals coaxed out of retirement to fight one final bout 30 years after their last match. Stallone is Henry ‘Razor’ Sharp, De Niro is Billy ‘The Kid’ McDonnen. (You’d have though they’d have come up with wittier, fancier names, but let’s let that pass).

Fine, plenty of chance for comedy, laughs and poignant moments in that scenario there. As long as the script doesn’t actually get them to fight at the climax. But, gasp, it does! It’s afraid not to. De Niro and old Stallone bashing hell out of each other. It’s not nice, seemly or comfortable or entertaining. It’s one thing seeing their old, wrinkly faces in huge close-up but it’s another seeing their old, wrinkly bodies too. Ah, well, pensioners’ lib and all that. Good for them, I guess.

Now, there are plenty of funny lines in Grudge Match, goodish performances too, and it has a warm, if sentimental heart. For that it can be forgiven a lot. The two old guys are worth the price of admission, or at least their hard work and sweat is. Their bickering scenes together are amusing enough as they play out their ancient feud.

An older guy, Alan Arkin, goes through his schlep one more time as Sly’s trainer, Louis ‘Lightning’ Conlon. Arkin’s got a bit slack, but he’s amusing enough. There’s somebody younger in, Kim Basinger, well a little younger at 60, as Sly’s love interest. She looks great, but looks like she’d prefer some classier work than playing straight guy to Sly. Any case, she’s fine.

Jon Bernthal is excellent as De Niro’s estranged son, adding a touch of reality to the movie, but Kevin Hart’s a bit of a pain as the promoter who gets the boxer back into a grudge match.

The movie ends up a lot like De Niro’s last outing only a couple of weeks ago, Last Vegas: a decent concept, some good gags, game performances, a likeable, sometimes funny film that grinds mechanically along and ends up a bit of a misfire, but a pleasant, watchable one.

As they use Grudgement Day a lot in the movie, I’m surprised that isn’t its title. It’s a good one.

The story and screenplay are by Tim Kelleher (writer of First Kid in 1996, starring Sinbad), with Rodney Rothman, a staff writer on Late Show with David Letterman. The director is Peter Segal, known for Anger Management (2003), 50 First Dates (2004) and Get Smart (2008).

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