A Good Day to Die Hard ** (2013, Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch) – Movie Review

Yippee ky-nothing. The fifth instalment of the Die Hard franchise is a bit of a dud but it does get a lift from an epic car chase across Moscow and your residual sympathy for its ever-likeable and ever-popular star Bruce Willis. Good heavens, I did want to like this. Hell, I was really looking forward to it.

25 years on from Die Hard, sometimes named as the greatest action film of all time, the 57-year-old Willis is back as the iconic John McClane, the quintessential ordinary bloke stuck in an extraordinary situation, fighting evil scumbags to save his family and mankind. Well that’s why we like him, isn’t it?

Potentially quite interestingly, the plot puts old McClane on foreign soil for the first time, allowing him a few dodgy remarks at the expense of the Russian locals, as he turns up in Moscow to rescue his estranged son Jack (Jai Courtney, last seen as the sniper in Jack Reacher) who’s been arrested by cops. Turns out Jack’s alright and doesn’t need rescuing.

He’s a CIA operative working to protect a government whistleblower called Komarov (Sebastian Koch) who’s set to bring down shady politician Chagarin (which would be much to the latter’s chagrin, I suppose). There’s a tough-looking femme fatale as well, Irina (Yuliya Snigir), Komarov’s lovely daughter, who enjoys the same strained relationship with her dad that Jack does with John.

This pointlessly complicated situation that leads everyone to a showdown at Chernobyl (presumably because it’s the only other place in Russia other than Moscow we’ve all heard of) turns out to be just a silly excuse for the intense action. Leaving realism and reality at the starting post, the action’s all comic-book stuff, which is either amusing or insulting according to taste.

Old John and young Jack naturally join forces after a bit of soap-opera-style bickering (as the film stops dead). And eventually they’re jumping off buildings together, and again, and again, and finally avoiding a kamikaze helicopter as they head through the air for the ground miles below. Spoiler alert. John falls in a convenient pool of water, thinks dad’s dead. But of course he’s gonna die another day as he’s just crash landed on the concrete by the pool and has only suffered a couple of cuts and maybe a bruise somewhere. Whatever Brucie’s taking, can I have some please?

Why didn’t they just build in super-powers for Willis and get him in spandex and a cape. Oh, well, next time.

Let’s accentuate the positive. The chase that took 82 days to shoot – over highways, through narrow streets and across bridges, destroying zillions of costly cars – is impressive, even if it goes on too long and could just as easily have been filmed in any town’s rundown dual carriageway – Leicester would have done quite nicely. And there’s enough action throughout the shortish running time to keep us watching. Also it certainly helps that Willis and Courtney take it seriously and do look the part, appearing well fit and ready, willing and able to tackle scum.

I’m afraid I can’t eliminate the negative though. The dialogue doesn’t give Brucie the witty banter he needs to sparkle, leaving him just smirking annoyingly, and the script fails to develop the John-Jack love-hate thingy beyond just telling us about it over and over and [spoiler alert again] having them both say cringingly ‘I love you’ at the end. Good, I’d say very good, actors though Willis and Courtney are, they can’t vanquish the villainously weak screenplay, never suggesting ‘real’ characters or convincing that they’re actually father and son. Like father and son? Like hell they are!

Then again, the villains aren’t any good at all and are despatched without any real effort or trouble, leading to an awful anti-climax. They’re just not distinctive or campy enough. Koch and Snigir seem very dull. Where are Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons when we need them?

I’m all for light-hearted, escapist action but, for once, a bit more hard violence and foul-mouthed swearing would do the movie a big favour and help to locate it in the real world. This movie’s too general audience friendly, whereas a much tougher film is needed. Arnie and Stallone realised this with their efforts this year and hit the target spot on.

It’s said Die Hard 6 is in the pipeline. A little bit of a rethink’s needed.

It is preceded by Die Hard, Die Hard 2 and Die Hard 3.

© Derek Winnert 2013 Movie Review

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