Cold Creek Manor * (2003, Dennis Quaid, Sharon Stone, Juliette Lewis, Kristen Stewart) – Bad Movie 5

Bickering middle-aged married couple Dennis Quaid and Sharon Stone quit the Manhattan rat race and buy a creaky old manor house in nice upstate New York, relocating there with their two kids (Kristen Stewart, Ryan Wilson). But their new life turns into a nightmare when the home’s initially helpful but creepy old owner (Stephen Dorff) turns up asking for a job.

You know a movie’s in trouble when Dorff gives its best performance – though, to be fair, he also gets the film’s biggest laugh when he takes his shirt off to show his rippling torso. With diabolically bad lines to utter, Quaid and Stone have never been worse, and director Mike Figgis’s 2003 thriller lacks everything it needs: tension, suspense and, above all, any credibility. Christopher Plummer is wasted in two tiny scenes as nasty Mr Massie. Juliette Lewis and Kristen Stewart also star. Richard Jefferies’s screenplay defies all these extraordinary actors.

A career-damaging movie for all concerned. But it managed a total worldwide box office of $29million. Let’s be fair to Stephen Dorff, who shows what a really good actor he can be in 2013’s The Motel Life.

The film was shot on location in Cambridge, Kitchener, Ayr and Toronto (all in Ontario).

The soundtrack includes All My Ex’s Live in Texas by George Strait and On the Road Again by Canned Heat.

(C) Derek Winnert 2014

Link to Derek Winnert’s home page for more film reviews: http://derekwinnert.com/