I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990, Neil Morrissey, Amanda Noar, Michael Elphick) – Classic Movie Review 9328

Director Dirk Campbell’s 1990 British comedy horror movie I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle is a ridiculous vampire spoof with a plot about a possessed Norton motorcycle, bought by Birmingham bike courier Noddy (Neil Morrissey). It lusts after blood and wreaks havoc in the motorbike and traffic warden fraternities till it meets its match in garlic-eating police inspector Cleaver (Michael Elphick).

This queasy attempt to make the disgusting funny when it should have concentrated on making the script funny is filmed (on what looks like a shoestring) on location in Birmingham, West Midlands, England.

Anthony Daniels (Star Wars’ C-3PO) is bad as an effete biker exorcist priest, Andrew Powell plays the angry Hell’s Angel leader Roach, and former Daily Star film critic Alan Frank appears as one of the ambulance men.

But the men mostly to blame are Mycal Miller and John Wolskel as writers and producers.

Also in the cast are Amanda Noar, George Rossi, Midge Taylor, Daniel Peacock, David Daker, Burt Kwouk, Brendan Donnison, Graham Padden, Paula Ann Bland, Teddie Thompson, Terence Budd, Ann Casson, Richard Smith, Douglas Campbell, Roy Alon, Frederick Eaves and Ed Devereaux.

© Derek Winnert 2020 Classic Movie Review 9328

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