Kong: Skull Island *** (2017, Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L Jackson, Brie Larson, John Goodman, John C Reilly) – Movie Review

It is 1971, and America is afflicted by the twin monsters of the Vietnam War and Nixon, and a team of explorers and soldiers want to get away from it all – and travel to an uncharted Pacific island, a land of actual monsters. Soon a vast and angry Kong arrives to let them know that he is still the King of Skull Island – and the surviving members of team are running for their lives to try to get outta there. There follow a virtually non-stop series of capably handled, often exciting, dark-toned and intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action.

Director Jordan Vogt-Roberts’s Kong reboot has plenty of energy and dynamism, though no subtlety or magic if that’s what you are looking for. It is kind of OK, entirely acceptable, but doesn’t replace any of the three previous versions that it is bound to be compared with, King Kong (1933), King Kong (1976), and King Kong (2005). It isn’t as good as any of them, not even the 1976 Jeff Bridges one, though, yes, it is better than the infamous King Kong Lives (1986).

So are what are they up to here? In their favour, they are not simply trying to remake King Kong. Just as well. Been there, done that. Kong: Skull Island, unconnected to any previous version of Kong, is set in the same universe as Legendary Pictures’ Godzilla (2014) and in a different era of the Seventies. The film re-introduces Kong in anticipation of a 2020 movie with him battling Godzilla.

They have managed a bit of a new spin, but not really that much, and it comes over mainly as, know what?, a tweaked remake of King Kong. So, deja vu is a problem.

Now this is another problem. Kong: Skull Island gets going nicely, moves fast and furious, but then suddenly stops, as though a third of the film is missing, or as though they’d split it into two films. This leaves it feeling exciting for its a bit under two hours’ running time, but very unsatisfying, leaving no aftertaste but wanting more – a real popcorn movie.

There are other problems, but the worst is the sudden disappearance of characters or actors you like at the hands of monsters. I can’t tell you who these are, but, believe me, it is infuriating.

Among the cast it is the old hands who are by far the most successful here, making their quirky marks all over the screen, chewing up and spitting out cheesy lines and situations. Acting is a game of pretend, and these actors make an art form out of pretending they’ve got good dialogue, characters and scenes to work on.

Samuel L Jackson, as half-crazy military man Preston Packard who wants to avenge himself on Kong for killing off his men, is grand. John Goodman’s exploration organiser is terrific, and John C Reilly as Hank Marlow, the wild man of the woods they find on the island, is stupendous. By the end, surprisingly, it turns out that it is Marlow’s story: he gets the start, middle and postscript to do.

However, talking of the film’s problems, Tom Hiddleston and Brie Larson are real low impact, as the tracker hero James Conrad and photo-journalist heroine Mason Weaver. It is not entirely their fault, the script gives them little to do except be there and spout lame lines, but Hiddleston’s smug Englishman act and Larson’s strident American turn are both turn-offs.

Thomas Mann, Corey Hawkins, John Ortiz, Toby Kebbell (who is also Kong), Tian Jing, and Shea Whigham all help out as much as the script allows them.

I’m going to let this review stop suddenly, just when you think there’s another third to go and then give you a postscript. Like it?

Vogt-Roberts is the director of The Kings of Summer (2013).

As Vera Lynn sings as the end of the movie, We’ll Meet Again.

© Derek Winnert 2017 Movie Review

Check out more reviews on http://derekwinnert.com

Dear Toby Kebbell, are you seriously in here somewhere?