No Sex Please: We’re British **½ (1973, Ronnie Corbett, Beryl Reid, Arthur Lowe) – Classic Movie Review 3510

Ronnie Corbett gets a rare top star billing in this 1973 film version of the famous theatre farce as the local Barclays Bank head cashier Brian Runnicles, who slowly starts to have a nervous breakdown when a parcel of porn is misdirected in his direction. 

In the hands of director Cliff Owen, the incredibly long-running, but wildly broad and obvious British stage comedy becomes a fairly feeble film farce. Though only 5′ 1″, Corbett has big shoes to fill. Original star Michael Crawford, who played the role of Brian Runnicles on stage, turned down the movie version. David Jason later took over the role.

So gone is Crawford, whose high-energy pratfalls provided the show’s main delight, and instead there is the lovely Ronnie Corbett and an extremely welcome ensemble of tried and tested TV comics. Several are beloved national institutions (Ronnie Corbett, Arthur Lowe, Beryl Reid, Michael Bates, Deryck Guyler and Frank Thornton) so this film is recommended for them and their talent to amuse.

Based on the play Alistair Foot and Anthony Marriott, the plot is about a parcel of pornography intended for adult bookstore owner Pete (John Bindon) being delivered by mistake by his supplier to the local Barclays Bank. His supplier Nico (Stephen Greif) has mixed up the two addresses. The bank’s assistant manager David Hunter (Ian Ogilvy) and Penny Hunter (Susan Penhaligon) are shocked when photos, films and then two girls are sent to them in the bank’s flat. 

The clerks David, Brian and Penny have trouble getting rid the porn without letting their boss Mr Bromley (Arthur Lowe), Inspector Paul (David Swift) and David’s mother Bertha (Beryl Reid) know what’s up. Foot and Marriott write their own reasonably inventive and breathless screenplay with Brian Cooke, as well as Barry Cryer as uncredited script doctor.

There are many changes to the play’s dialogue, plot and names: Eleanor became Bertha, Mr Bromhead became Bromley and Peter and Frances became David and Penny.

Also in the cast are Cheryl Hall, Valerie Leon, Margaret Nolan, Gerald Sim, Michael Robbins, Michael Ripper, Lloyd Lamble, Mavis Villiers, Sydney Bromley, Edward Sinclair, Fred Griffiths, Lucy Griffiths, Robin Askwith, Bart Allison and Joe Reah.

The play had a quote from the then famous Sunday Times critic Harold Hobson outside the theatre saying: ‘They were literally rolling in the aisles’ – really, literally? Now that I would have paid to see!

The play premiered in London’s West End at at the Strand Theatre on 3 June 1971 and played to full houses until 1987 at the Strand, then Garrick and then Duchess theatres, totalling 6,761 performances. It ran for only 16 performances on Broadway early in 1973.

British comedy god Ronnie Corbett died on 31 March 2016, aged 85.

© Derek Winnert 2016 Classic Movie Review 3510

Link to Derek Winnert’s home page for more reviews: http://derekwinnert.com/