Ready or Not (2019, Samara Weaving, Adam Brody, Mark O’Brien, Henry Czerny, Andie MacDowell, Melanie Scrofano) – Movie Review

Ready or not for Ready or Not? No, really not, so not. Directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett’s 2019 lethal game horror movie Ready or Not is cheap and tawdry, bloody and disgusting, reaching a new low as one of the worst films of the year so far. After a slow, ominous start, the film’s deadly hide and seek game starts up, and so does the violence and gore and swearing.

It earns an increasingly rare 18 certificate in the UK for violence, bloody images, and strong language throughout, and some drug use. The BBFC hopes it can keep it out the reach of young people, but they had been better off banning it altogether to keep it out the reach of everybody. The 18 certificate doesn’t make much sense. Extremely nasty though Ready or Not is, it is about the same level as Melissa McCarthy’s mob movie The Kitchen, which was only a 15.

Writers Guy Busick and Ryan Murphy’s plot couldn’t be more simple: poor, pretty girl Grace (Samara Weaving) marries rich boy Alex (Mark O’Brien), and discovers all too late that at midnight on her wedding night the family’s traditional lethal game begins, and it’s her life or the lives of the family (Adam Brody as brother-in-law Daniel, Henry Czerny as father-in-law Tony, Andie MacDowell as mother-in-law Becky, Melanie Scrofano sister-in-law Emilie) at stake. If they don’t manage to kill her by dawn, they’ll die. Why, oh why? There

It emerges that the family are a devil worshipping satanic cult, though this seems to have nothing to do with anything, and is entirely irrelevant, just tacked on for shock value and to extend the slim running time. The writers have a hard task extending their slim idea into a feature length movie. Any plot developments become increasingly illogical and desperate, leaving reality far behind.

It starts to get repetitive and draggy, then preposterous and ridiculous, with a totally predictable yet absurd bloodbath ending. There’s an idea that perhaps it is meant to be funny as a black comedy horror, but the only laughs are at its expense and how ludicrous is becomes. [Spoiler alert] There is much audience nervous laughter as the family literally explode one by one, with gore flying everywhere. But surely this is meant to be serious, or isn’t it?

It’s appalling to find Andie MacDowell, Adam Brody and Henry Czerny reduced to playing in this kind of thing. At least Brody hides his face behind a silly beard so he won’t be recognised. There are several worst of the year performances, with Czerny, Scrofano and John Ralston as butler Stevens competing for Worst Actor award.

It is made by Mythology Entertainment and Vinson Films, and released by Fox Searchlight Pictures, who tell us they are celebrating their 25th anniversary with such gems as Ready or Not. With grungy photography, and a handful of sets, it looks like a low-level TV movie and very evidently cost very little to make ($6,000,000). It has already been immensely lucrative, grossing $28,276,023 in the US and $43,597,149 elsewhere. It all goes to show that horror films can never be bad enough.

Brian Tyler’s score is a help, just as it is in Rambo: Last Blood.

Aussie actress Samara Weaving is the niece of Hugo Weaving.

© Derek Winnert 2019 Movie Review

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