Sex Tape ** (2014, Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Rob Lowe) – Movie Review

‘Who has sex for three hours? That’s the length of the movie Lincoln. You did the full Lincoln.’

Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel are well paired as married couple Annie and Jay, whose initially frantic love life has gone tame after ten years of marriage and two kids. Annie suggests they make a video trying every position in The Joy of Sex in one joyous three-hour session. Let the humping – and videoing – proceed. Don’t try this at home, folks!  Just look what happens to Annie and Jay.

Jay orders up a vanload of I Pads, uploads the sex tape onto all of them, and forgetfully gives the old I Pads away to all and sundry, including their married best friends (Rob Corddry, Ellie Kemper) and Annie’s new boss, Rob Lowe (perhaps cast because of the sex tape connection). Someone unknown sees the private video, texts Jay to tell him and blackmails them. They have to find out who it is and get all their I Pads back PDQ.

This potentially funny idea produces a low-laugh 90 minutes. It’s contrived and clumsy. It’s silly and slapstick but not in a good way. Even a sex farce has to be ‘real’ and truthful. Sex Tape has little credibility. Anyone making a sex tape would I guess be really careful what happened to it. The plot contrivance with the I Pads is juts daft. No one would order up all these just at the same moment they’d made a tape and give the pads away like this. It makes no sense! Except in the movie comedy world where films move from one laugh to the next without bothering why you’ve got to the laugh. The second trouble here is, there are hardly any laughs in the script. No performers can get round that.

Diaz needs classy material, and here she is again showing off her body and bare bum,  and doing loads of really unladylike stuff. We know she looks great at 42, and there’s an argument that if you’ve got it, flaunt it. But she’s a real, proper actress who needs classy roles in classy films and this is exactly the opposite of this. Having said that, Diaz is always game for anything, and a funny woman if the script is right, but raising laughs with this filthy material is very difficult indeed and it largely defies her.

It also defeats Segel, who looks ill having lost so much weight for his sex scenes. He’s one of those naturally chubby blokes, who looks fit and well chubby, and weird like this. Nevertheless, he is always game for anything too, and a funny man if the script is right, but, as I say, raising laughs with this filthy material is very difficult indeed and it largely defies him.

Lowe is not a funny man at all, and could never raise laughs with this kind of material. Corddry just seems creepy and Kemper abrasive. Different performers might have fared better, but it’s unlikely.

It’s all a script problem. Kate Angelo wrote the story and screenplay, and Nicholas Stoller and Segel help out on the script. It needs a bank of gag writers to pep it up, make it credible and funny. I’m happy to see Diaz and Segel again any time, either together or separately. They’re my kind of people. I like them. I wish them well – and better scripts.

© Derek Winnert 2014 Movie Review

Check out more reviews on http://derekwinnert.com/