Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles *** (2014, Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner) – Movie Review

Fearless reporter April O’Neil and her news cameraman Vern Fenwick must work with the four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to save New York City from the diabolical plan of Shredder and his evil Foot Clan.

The film benefits enormously from its strong casting of Megan Fox as the gorgeous, feisty heroine April, Will Arnett as her wisecracking sidekick Vern and William Fichtner as the reliable villain, Eric Sacks, a former associate of her father’s who comes on as a friend to April but soon turns out to have killed dad and not exactly mean well to our heroine.

CGI is everywhere once the Turtles make their belated appearance in a movie that then becomes a virtual animation. So it’s a film that inhabits, successfully, the no man’s land between CGI and live-action. Scott Mednick, the executive producer, explains that though the film is live-action, the Turtles are computer animated through Motion Capture, as opposed to using practical effects. That is, no men in silly costumes. Shame! The do make Michelangelo, Rafael, Donatello and Leonardo seem realistic though, which is a major achievement, even if it’s hard to tell them apart, unless you’re a Turtles fan, I guess.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is busy, fast-paced, incredibly loud, with non-stop music, so there’s no question of having a little snooze. Indeed there’s no need to, it’s all over in a painless, harmless 95 minutes. It’s a lot more fun and enjoyable than you’d have any reason to expect.

It’s quite good looking too, but why it would cost $125million is anyone’s guess and not anyone else’s business. The more money you spend on a movie the more you get back is the philosophy. I’m not sure quite who the audience is exactly, teenagers and their parents, I guess. It’s even more juvenile than Transformers, and strictly a kids’ film, but not for younger ones, who’ll be scared by some of it, particularly the dark-toned last 20 minutes. It’s rated 12A in the UK and in America PG-13 for sci-fi action violence. A lot of ‘young adults’ will feel too sophisticated to be watching Ninja Turtles and most folks over 20 will feel too adult. Let’s see how it does it at the box office.

Josh Appelbaum and André Nemec‘s screenplay takes itself all very seriously, so there aren’t too many laughs in it, though the ones there are, are amusing and welcome. Jokier might have been a better route to go, but this one works, so let’s not knock it. The 3D is pointless, by the way.

© Derek Winnert 2014 Movie Review

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