The Legend of Barney Thomson ** (2015, Robert Carlyle, Emma Thompson, Ray Winstone, Martin Compston, Tom Courtenay, Ashley Jensen, James Cosmo) – Movie Review

In his directing debut, Robert Carlyle is struggling both as actor and director as Barney Thomson, a boring Glasgow barber who reluctantly finds he becomes a serial killer.

Carlyle’s odd mix of kindly and terrifying gets a thorough workover in what should be an ideal role for him, while Ray Winstone goes through the Ray Winstone turn one more time as, inexplicably, the only Cockney copper in Scotland (well the only one in the film anyway), and Emma Thompson wildly overplays her hand as a Scots crone, Barney’s mum, who turns out to be a monster in her own right, of course.

Thompson, born in 1959, is only two years older than Carlyle, so she’s buried under acres of unconvincing wrinkly makeup. And she may be half Scottish, but she isn’t very good at a Glasgow accent.

James Cosmo is the barber shop owner, Martin Compston is Carlyle’s fellow crimper Chris, Tom Courtenay is the top cop Chief Superintendent McManaman and Ashley Jensen plays Detective Inspector June Robertson. They’re all very good actors and kind of make their performances work, but I’d like to have seen them do a lot more in the movie.

The finale is somehow as ridiculous as it is predictable, though you’d certainly not want to predict it, as you’d rather have some other, vaguely plausible ending maybe. But then it’s not a thriller, it’s a wacky black comedy. It probably works better in its source novel than as a screenplay by Richard Cowan and Colin McLaren.

It helps a lot that it is extremely well shot on grungy locations in the east end of Glasgow, even if, like the film’s plot, this will do nothing for Scottish tourism. And it really is looking great throughout, thanks to cinematographer Fabian Wagner and production designer Ross Dempster. And it’s creditable as a fair try at something very hard to pull off. Also, affection for the long-serving, much-admired leading actors may overcome anything in the way of antipathy to the film and make it worthwhile.

In the out-takes the actors are killing themselves. This is a mistake to show this. No doubt it was a huge laugh to make, but it’s not up there on screen. For all the hard work, The Legend of Barney Thomson just doesn’t work.

This small-scale film has 10 credited producers. What were they all doing?

© Derek Winnert 2015 Movie Review

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