White Cargo ** (1973, David Jason, Hugh Lloyd, Imogen Hassall, Tim Barrett, David Prowse, Sue Bond, David McGillivray) – Classic Movie Review 13,431

Director Ray Selfe’s 1973 British comedy film White Cargo is based on the story Albert’s Follies by Ray Selfe, and stars David Jason, Hugh Lloyd, Imogen Hassall and Tim Barrett, along with David Prowse, Sue Bond, and David McGillivray.

Popular Brit TV personalities David Jason and Hugh Lloyd star in a short little filler film about a bumbling civil servant called Albert Toddey (David Jason), who daydreams of being a Bond-style secret agent. He gets involved in a plot to smuggle young women out to the Middle East to save the striptease girls from white slavery.

Albert accidentally enters a low-end strip club under surveillance by bowler-hatted bumbling Home Office investigators, Chumley (Hugh Lloyd) and Fosdyke (Tim Barrett), masters of disguise, and meets the attractive Stella (Imogen Hassall).

White Cargo is a saucy but not very funny adult comedy, directed and written by Selfe. His co-writer David McGillivray appears as a customer.

Jason and Lloyd are certainly worth a look, and so perhaps is the film, which is silly but harmless.

It was made in and around London and at Twickenham Film Studios in less than two-and-a-half weeks for £70,000 to £80,000.

Originally a critic for The Monthly Film Bulletin, McGillivray wrote his first film script Albert’s Follies with his friend Ray Selfe in 1973. It was intended as a vehicle for The Goodies, who turned it down. Ironically his friends at The Monthly Film Bulletin turned on him reviewing the film: ‘A wretchedly unfunny attempt at a comedy in the old Norman Wisdom style with what is probably the coyest sex scene ever shot’.

White Cargo is the name of a 1942 MGM film with Hedy Lamarr.

Ray Selfe

Ray Selfe worked on such films as Four Dimensions of Greta (1972), White Cargo (1973), Emmanuelle in Soho (1981) and Don’t Open till Christmas (1984).

David McGillivray

Actor, producer, playwright, screenwriter and film critic David McGillivray was born on 7 September 1947 in London.

The cast

The cast are David Jason as Albert Toddey, Hugh Lloyd as Chumley, Imogen Hassall as Stella, Tim Barrett as Fosdyke, David Prowse as Harry, Raymond Cross as Dudley Fox, Sue Bond as Desirée, Nik Zaran as strip-club manager, John Barber as special agent, Stanley Stewart as Jim, Geraldine Hart as housewife, Roger Adamson as carpet salesman, Paddy McQueen as old lady, Peter Thompson as paraffin man, Sonny Caldinez as bodyguard, Frank Ray as thug, Bozena as blonde captive girl in black, Vivene Stokes as captive girl in pink, Deirdre Lindsay as captive girl, Kirstie Pooley as captive girl in blue, Jacqueline Hurst as captive girl, and David McGillivray as customer.

White Cargo is directed by Ray Selfe, runs 77 minutes, is made by Negus-Fancey and Border Film Productions, is released by Border Film Distributors, is written by Ray Selfe and David McGillivray, is shot by John Barnard, is produced by Olive Negus-Fancey, is scored by David Lindup, and is designed by Jack Shampan.

© Derek Winnert 2025 – Classic Movie Review 13,431

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